Amen, brother
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, by the name of Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valued lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies(adults, not kids, are in charge).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six year old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after athletes and CEO's salaries increased to between 9 thousand and 90 thousand dollars per hour, and a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, spilled it in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement for simply being stupid.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents: Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion, his daughter; Responsibility, and his son; Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you remember him, pass this on, if not he will be forgotten forever.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valued lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies(adults, not kids, are in charge).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six year old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after athletes and CEO's salaries increased to between 9 thousand and 90 thousand dollars per hour, and a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, spilled it in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement for simply being stupid.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents: Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion, his daughter; Responsibility, and his son; Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you remember him, pass this on, if not he will be forgotten forever.
posted by cRaZySoB at 8:05 PM
3 Comments:
My condolences for common sense, I remember him every time I get cut off in a Traffic circle.
My condolences for common sense, I remember him every time I get cut off in a Traffic circle.
Thank you for caring.
Post a Comment
<< Home