So beautiful. My Avril. Yummy yum yum. ;) Don't even try to tell me those aren't hers. Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. *drool*

Neat-o.

Jokes That Will Offend Almost Everyone...

Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Special Olympics?
A: Not being retarded
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Q: What's blue and fucks old people?
A: Hypothermia
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Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered wives' shelter?
A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her
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Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time?
A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
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Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
A: Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.
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Q: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in common?
A: They don't fucking listen.
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Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
A: Gonorrhoea
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Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
A: So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt once in a while too.
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Q. How can you tell a macho woman?
A. She rolls her own tampons.
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Q. Why do fags like ribbed condoms?
A. Better traction in the mud.
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Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?
A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.
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Q. What's the difference between acne and a Michael Jackson?
A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13 years old.
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Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it.
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Q. What do you get when you cross two black people?
A. Your ass kicked.
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Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
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Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.
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Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen?
A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty miles an hour.
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Q. Why do women call it PMS?
A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
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Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
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Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
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Q. What's the definiton of macho?
A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
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Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A. The cake jumps out of the girl.
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Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
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Q. How is pubic hair like parsley?
A. You push it to the side before you start eating.
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Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
A. You know she'll swallow.
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Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day in Iraq?
A. They don't want to wear out the camel.
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Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery.
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Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
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Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is bedtime?
A. When the big hand touches the little hand...
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Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.
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Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.
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Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it.

Art - At its best.

Pepsi is EVIL!!!! Pepsi = Pisspee.

It's Been Awhile - Staind

It's been awhile since I could hold my head up high,
And it's been a while since I first saw you.
It's been a while since I could stand on my own two feet again,
And it's been a while since I could call you.
But everything I can't remember, as fucked up as it all may seem.
The consequences that I've rendered,
I've stretched myself beyond my means.

It's been awhile since I could say that I wasn't addicted and
It's been a while since I could say I love myself as well and
It's been a while since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do
And it's been a while but all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you.
But everything I can't remember, as fucked up as it all may seem.
The consequences that I've rendered,
I've gone and fucked things up again.

Why must i feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.

It's been awhile since I could look at myself straight,
And it's been awhile since I said I'm sorry.
It's been awhile since I've seen the way the candles light your face.
And it's been awhile but I can still remember just the way you taste.
But everything I can't remember, as fucked up as it all may seem.
I know it's me, I cannot blame this on my Father,
He did the best He could for me.

It's been a while since I could hold my head up high,
And it's been a while since I said
I'm sorry...